How Shibari, the Japanese rope bondage shown on Netflix's 'Too Hot to Handle,' could help your relat
- Netflix's newest reality dating show "Too Hot To Handle" featured a workshop on Shibari — a Japanese form of rope bondage.
- The singles are not allowed to have sex or even kiss, but the Shibari workshop was meant to "improve intimacy and trust in [their] relationships."
- In Shibari, a rigger — or person tying their partner up — binds their model's body with rope into different positions based on their body language and emotional responses
- "Even though it is bondage, which can tend to feel a bit more risque, it really does teach people how to trust which is the foundation for any long-lasting relationship," Shan Boodram, the show's resident relationship expert, said.
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Netflix's newest reality dating show "Too Hot To Handle" puts 10 of the self-proclaimed "world's hottest people" in a tropical resort together for eight weeks for the chance to win $100,000 as a group. The catch: none of the singles can have sex or even kiss without risking their cash prize.
That's not to say the show avoids intimate situations. One episode featured scantily-clad contestants tying each other up. The steamy scene was actually a workshop on Shibari — an ancient form of Japanese bondage meant to "improve intimacy and trust in relationships," according to the show's narrator, Desiree Burch.
Led by relationship expert Shan Boodram, the singles divided themselves into pairs and decided who would play each role: the rigger (the person tying their partner up) or the model (the person being tied up).
The rigger binds their model with rope into different positions based on their body language and emotional responses.
"Even though it is bondage, which can tend to feel a bit more risque, it really does teach people how to trust which is the foundation for any long-lasting relationship," Boodram said on the show.
Shibari is about trust and differs slightly from other kinds of rope play
Shibari became popular in the 1960s and 70s in Japan when people started frequenting bondage-themed bars and strip clubs.
"Shibari is a Japanese word to mean 'tie.' Today, Shibari is associated with Japanese-inspired rope bondage style for fun, kinky sex," Midori, a sexologist and author of the first English instruction book on Shibari, Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, told Refinery 29.
Unlike many other representations of rope play, the knots of the rope are intentionally positioned throughout the body's pressure points in Shibari rather than just at the ankles and wrists. This is meant to give the model pleasure while the rigger listens to their needs and positions them.
Shibari can be a tool to help couples develop better communication in their sex life and relationship
The exercise is meant to build strong communication because it relies on consent and constant communication between the rigger and model. This makes it potentially a useful tool for couples looking to improve their communication — whether it be inside or outside of the bedroom.
"Shibari is based in power play, but in a really unexpected way because truly, when you're the person with the rope, you're the one who is surrendering and trusting your partner," Boodram said on the show. "How tight do you want things? How much pressure? Does this feel good for you? They're teaching them the principles of how to take that same language and apply it to every other facet of their intimate connections."
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